Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Fed up of Female partners, Rahul Mahajan now decides to marry a Boy

Television husband Rahul Mahajan has begun leaning over to the other side. After accusing all his wives (2 official and 12 unofficial) of domestic violence against him, Rahul has now had enough. He is all set to move in with long time sweetheart and boyfriend Rosy Durjan.

Who said only women fake orgasms?
Coming out in the open about his hidden relationship with Rosy Durjan, an interior designer spoiler from New Delhi, Mahajan told the media that he has had it enough with this "false, baseless, commercial institution called marriage" and that he "doesn’t believe in the commercialization of marriage by TV channels".

In a rare non-violent moment, he recounted with nostalgia the day he first met Rosy 17 years ago. "We met at an underground party in Mumbai. Our eyes met while we were snorting harmless white powder at the same instant and since then, our relationship has only gone ‘higher’ and ‘higher’."

Gaiety Gayness on display
"All this while, I tried to cover up our relationship and sexual orientation with the help of a number of marriages with other TV personalities losers and hitting on random women in buses, trains, bars, on the streets and on TV shows. But now, Rosy and I have decided we had had enough of staying apart. The night we decided this, I knew Dimpy's time to get beaten up had come. It was now time to take both the relationships to the next level - the level they were intended for."

Rahul has also started taking coaching in the Martial Arts, because this time, he wants his marriage to work. And he wants to be able to take the ‘beatings, punches and kicks’ gracefully in his backside stride.

How distressed he looked at the time of his marriage -
An unhappy Rahul during his marriage

with a happy Dimpy
He nobly believes, and we agree, that relationships are all about compromise and adjustment. “A little bit of beating, punching, kicking, pulling by the hair, pinching, burning, teasing, and 1st degree torture is necessary. I believe in it strongly. That’s why I don’t mind when my partners do it to me,” said Rahul with a historic civilised sample of laughter, otherwise rare from his side.

It is a matter of national pride that this laughing stock inspirational figure will now settle down with what we hope would turn out to be the most meaningful, beautiful, violent and torturous relationship of his life. "I am still a very good friend of his," claimed his divorced wife Shweta for the hundredth time, and said, "On the behalf of his horde of limb-broken heart-broken wives, I wish him good luck." 

Marriages really are made in Heaven, aren’t they? If only they didn’t turn into hell on earth…

This story was written by me for News That Matters Not.


  1. funny.
    any chance we will have a reality show based on it?

  2. Hahaha! That we'll have to wait and watch ;)