It feels good, for Once.

They told me,

Don’t dream of things that cannot be

Don’t look beyond what your eyes see

Don’t even think you can be free

So I sat still,

Against the window grill,

My knuckles white,

Eyes shut tight.

This is how it’s always been,

And nothing more than black I’ve seen

Until today, when I finally break free

No more of their ways, no more of their rhymes. My life is now all mine.

I burst through the front door, out into the open. I trip, fall and hurt myself.

But it feels good.

It is winter now, and spring will soon arrive. My skin tastes the wet snow. My hair feels the icy wind ruffle it. I can still see naught from under the blindfold.  But for once I know, and for sure I know, I’m free.
It feels good.

Breathing harshly, my feet sinking in the snow, I make my way across the garden. I bump into a tree. My trembling fingers gauge its bark. It’s rough, scaly and cold.

But it feels good.

My hands make their way up a slender branch. At the very end of it is something soft. It’s a flower, not yet in full bloom. It seems to reach out and let my fingers caress it.

Yes, it feels good.

All of a sudden, from nowhere, two tears ooze down my eyes. I feel them staining the blindfold, moist and heavy. They’re tears of blood.

The years of darkness and fear seem to converge into this one moment, breaking through the shackles of time. They fall out as soft tears as my eyes gently bleed. It pains a little. But it feels good.

All it took was one decision in one moment of light. I’m free now.

Oh, yes. It feels good.

- Avinash Agarwal

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