Monday, September 13, 2010

Champu- Season 2

(This is a Continuation of Champu- SEASON 1...)

I grew up a little more. And I learnt a lot more, in direct proportion. I learnt the subtle art of acting, reacting and pro-acting. My innocent face turned out to be my biggest asset. Not my rapidly dwindling reputation, though. I was still in the good books only because of my marks. But that too was slowly and surely coming to an end.

Cut to Class 11- chemistry lab- the colorful acids in tightly shut bottles, the powders locked away in protective boxes, the gleaming test tubes waiting to crack into half, the pungent smell which had become a part of the room and the palpable suspense in the air. It was as if all the molecules and atoms were craving for some fun- a fire, an acid attack, an explosion at the least. And I heard their call.

The first thing we were told that day was that “Sodium is highly reactive. If it comes in contact with sulphuric acid, water, or even air, it reacts like an explosive.” My ears cocked up hearing the last word and I began grinning in delight. We were asked to be extra cautious. I certainly was. About not being caught.

About 120 seconds later there was an explosion in the Chemistry Lab of my High School. Someone had ‘accidentally’ dropped a whole chunk of sodium into the wash basin while the tap was on. I happened to be somewhere close by. Coincidence. 

We gathered around to study what was left after the catastrophe, shaking our heads and ‘tut-tutting’ in disapproval. The Lab supervisor looked around with a murderous expression. I had forgotten she was here. She would have seen it, no doubt. She was ultra sharp and eagle-eyed. My heart skipped a beat and inner molecular structure went haywire, because just then, she looked right at me. A moment later, she looked right past me. I was harmless. Yes, very.

I’d also like to confess that it was me who was responsible for breaking a test tube every time I was given one. I just couldn’t help it. It was like a gift. It came naturally. And I didn’t want to squander the talent. Sometimes overheating, sometimes the wrong mix of acids, and sometimes just playing the hot n cold game to see how much the glass could withstand. Oh, chemistry turned out to be very, very helpful in my mental, physical and emotional growth!

It was about the same period of my life that I won my first ‘enemy for life’. Well, I can’t take all the credit. There was another accomplice involved. By another cosmic union of Orion and Jupiter, I had found my soul mate. He was a boy too, but in school, all that didn’t matter so much. 

He was just like me, a seemingly harmless cow. No one would give him a suspicious glance. He was thin, wiry and looked like a strong windy day would be his last. I was plump, harmless-looking and quite ordinary. In short, we made an excellent team.

Our ‘enemy for life’ was a boy from the adjacent class. He had done nothing to us, or our parents, or our next generations. It must've been something from the previous birth that instigated the attack; something karmic, something terrible. So he had to be punished. I'll tell you about his unspeakably evil deeds when I recollect them. 

So, we locked him in the tennis court just when the buses were about to leave one fateful evening. And that was the last I heard of him. I really don’t know what happened. I don’t know if he had managed to squeal his way out or spent the night there. But he survived the ordeal. I know because I saw him on Facebook recently, alive and smiling. So I sent him a friend request, assuming he had put his eventful past behind him. Or at least put his large ‘behind’ in the past. Alas, he didn’t accept my request. He ignored it, or maybe even ‘Reported the Abuse’. Pun intended! 

 So that pretty much sums up my early education. Then what happened of my soul mate, you may ask?

Well, I turned out to be a little more evil than him, and was entirely responsible for two mishaps that happened in his life right about then. Both involved getting slapped by girls from our class.

The first slap came because I pushed him on her. Not just a regular push. A proper, two handed, in-the-middle-of-his-back push. And he must’ve fallen on her a little inappropriately, I can’t divulge further details. C'mon, you're smart enough to figure out that part! She slapped him almost immediately. I was very sorry. I even told him I was. 

The second slap came when were singing a disgusting song about our ‘Kidney going into our lungs’ to another girl (She was the sensitive type) who turned around when she couldn’t stand it any longer and swung her arm. Unfortunately for him, I was standing a little further away. He got the brunt of it all alone. Sheesh. Bad luck! Yes, I was sorry again. I was also very badly shaken. Poor me!

Well, they say that the Law of Karma is always working. And justice prevails. Right? Wait and watch! ;) 

(To be continued in Season 3 )

- Avinash Agarwal


  1. You were quite something in school eh?

    Sweet outside wicked and purple inside.

    The post was wicked, wicked, wicked!!!

  2. A little exaggeration, of course...exercising my creative freedom ;)

  3. lovely!likhte jaa.fir baad mein compile karke apni autobiography release kar:)karnaamon ki koi kami thode hi hai;)

  4. Thank you sir ji ;) Yeh toh kuch bhi nai hai. Apne saare 'karnaame' toh abhi tak Gupt hi hain. GOod idea, 'BOOK' likhte hain ;)